Dealing With an Angry Child
When our children lash out at us it brings out different kinds of emotions on our part. At times we might feel fatigued and overwhelmed. How we deal with it also matters. It can leave us questioning what we did, if it was right and if this got out of hand. If we don’t show our children how to deal with this emotion it can lead to other grave emotions like bitterness. Below is how we can teach our children to manage their anger.
1. Take in a deep breath
You will not be helping if you get angry yourself. When you are calm, it will help you child calm down and will also help with emotional regulation. This helps the child become more aware of their feelings. Teaching your children to take a minute to think over the situation is also important. By calming yourself down, you will be in a position to choose the best response.
2. Tantrums are normal
Their brains are developing. This means that they have not yet fully developed control over what they do or say. By offering empathy one will be helping develop those pathways. Through empathizing you will also become more trusting. We also need to teach them that anger is good for identifying problems but it is bad for solving them.
3. Anger is a defense mechanism
Anger is a form of defense once children feel threatened. Loses and disappointments can feel as the end of the world. But children need to learn that they can handle such kind of emotions. If their anger is met with compassion then the anger will melt away.
4. Don’t try to teach, reason or explain
When children throw tantrums they need to be comforted of their safety. This is not a time to try and reason with them or try to give them lessons. Don’t try to explain why things are not working out the way they want them to but instead acknowledge how upset they are.
5. Set limits on actions
As much as you are being compassionate, it is important to set out limits that will ensure ever that will ensure everybody’s safety. Don’t engage your child in power struggle or yell at them. Stay calm and help them with the emotions they are experiencing. Don’t get physical with them.
6. Don’t set limits on emotions
You don’t have to agree or argue. Simply acknowledge what is making him angry and be sympathetic. Instead let them experience their emotions. This will help them learn that such kinds of emotions are natural and with time they will learn how to handle them on their own.
7. Safety first
In most case kids will want to hit you or push against you. If they hurts us they will end up feeling scarred and guilty. It is important to let them know that you are not comfortable with that. Encourage them to talk about what they are feeling without getting physical.
8. Stay as close as you can
Your child needs someone to be there for them. When they are angry, is not time to send them in their rooms and lock them there. Try to show them that you are there when they need you.
9. Don’t evaluate the emotions
Children accumulate emotions and at times it might not be what they are ranting about that made them angry. At times they might be fighting emotions over things that we actually don’t notice. What they need is to cry and let the emotions run their course. This will help in calming them down.
10. Acknowledgement will help in coming down
If you are compassionate towards your child it will help them calm down. It is important to acknowledge what made them angry to begin with.
Once they have calmed down, it is time to talk about the feelings they experienced. Now is the time to reason with them and tell them what they did was wrong and help them to deal this such kinds of emotions. You can do this in form of telling a story. If they don’t want to talk about it immediately then you can leave it till your child is ready for closure.
This is another best way in dealing with an angry child. By helping the child understand the emotions they just had, you are strengthening the bond between you two. And next time they will know how to handle their emotions better.
Teaching children to accept emotions is a step towards resilience. With time they will learn to deal with disappointments and learn that they cannot always get what they want but that is not the end of the world. They will also learn to talk about their feelings even when they are furious. Through teaching your child how to manage his ANGER YOU also will have strengthened the bond.
Jessie Head is a single Mom who loves to blog about all things Mommy-like and adventures with her kids. She spends her free time blogging and scouring the web for great content for her readers. Her perfect day starts with grabbing her two boys, their baby jogger city select stroller, and heading out for an unplanned outdoor adventure. Whether they end up at the park, the beach, or just exploring a neighborhood art show, farmer’s market or garage sale, they always have a ball.
Jessie welcomes your comments on her social pages. Visit her website at HootBabyDesigns.com to offer your critiques or support.